i am writing this in my sleep / i am finding myself again even though my roots are charred / i lack roots even though the farmer told me to hold onto them / i was too busy planting other people’s gardens / to look after my own / i buy a bottle of water / i am thirsty / i buy five bottles of water / i am drowning yet it is not enough / enough to stop my craving / caving into pressure in my head / i am not enough enough enough / for myself / i wish i was a tall building people walked through / in and out in and out / as long as they promised to return / an apartment complex / may be / my chest has been cut open for a long time / now / and i cannot stitch myself back together nor would i / want to / i want to live on the moon / naked / i want to stop returning text messages / i want to stop seeking validation / LOVE ME / i can not scream loud enough / my throat is bleeding / LOVE ME / i have climbed higher mountains than this / in order to request smaller tasks / i remember sitting on city steps / waiting for you to come / i am forever waiting / for someone / usually it is myself / i want to hold myself at eleven / it is okay to cry / allow yourself to cry / please cry / it is not a lack of strength / it is beautiful to be vulnerable / but everyone else is crying / everyone else needs comforting / need a joke / need a smile / you cannot be everyone’s light / you cannot be the sun / you will only mask your own shadow / he is not coming back / he is not coming back / did he touch you / did he touch you / ? / you do not understand words like that / you do understand that everyone is crying / let yourself cry / mourn / exhaust / exist / be / can you talk less / be less / be more of this / less of that / why are you crying / sorry i didn’t mean to make you cry / please stop crying / i just don’t know why you think this / feel this / are this / why are you talking to him / her / him / her / he has feelings for you / she has feelings for you / a threat / a threat / CODE RED / why are you crying / why are you like this / i am only doing this because i love you / i want to be with you / you are the best person i know / you love me so well / so well / so well / why are you crying / do you ever stop crying / my voice is loud / is yelling / is screaming / to love you louder / i love you out loud / i want the whole world to know it / why do you want me to touch you / need me to touch you / you have changed / i am not happy / why did you change / you were so great before / you used to be more / now you are less / i didn’t want this / i wanted that / she is better / you are nothing / you were never anything / you have a 70′s playboy / bush / it’s hot / i’m not usually into that / we don’t have to have sex / i just need a bed / i just need your bed / let me kiss your neck / i haven’t touched a woman in months / you are a woman / you are beautiful / don’t worry / i won’t hurt you / i don’t bite / why do you seem so afraid of / me / go to sleep / i’m sorry / i could not control myself / why aren’t you moving / why did you let me into your room / if you did not want / this / i’ll see you later / at the club / ? / i am too much / i have become one with / emotion / i am changing / constantly / rapidly / cycling through / myself / am i not enough for myself / am i not enough for anyone / or / too much for anyone / please love me / i am sorry / i have been touched too many times / i have been felt too many times / yet still not enough / i am not crying / i am just trying to / understand / why i need / to be burnt down / a forest in need of / renewal / please hold me / because i am / so alone / here / and there / and everywhere / please love me / LOVE ME / i cannot / do not / love myself / i am in a rapid race / to self love / self discovery / but first you must give me fifty / reasons why i am / worth loving / i have forgotten / ✱✱✱
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