watching my toes flip-flop on the subtle mud marinating in the poached egg of a sun sizzling in silence as it watches me spill mascara all over my new white flamingo crop-top from a store that uses bangladeshi sweatshops watching my crimson-red nails swallow all the golden memory the sky’s embraced over nineteen years of tears and puddles of blood leaking from my nose because i can’t drink enough water because when i collect every crystal-clear drop to drown in sorrow and not even a sip goes into my dehydrating body watching each bespeckled pebble soak the heat like it was born in a flurry of confusion and sweat and grew up knowing its path around the milky way, cycling around the globe on an eternal journey for the perfect shoe to cross its path watching the eyelashes i blow into the air thinking that wishes are thoughts you can shed like stray hairs and antidepressants strewn into toilets, flushed into a dying blue-and-green planet i’ll never have to face watching this destruction as i walk forward, and forward melting into the summer glare my parents tell me is only temporary, and soon i can go back to wallowing in gray, rainy portland days that sink beneath the moon and surf under the starlight watching my body lay in bed like the socks in my empty, empty college dorm room that are unclean and unloved like the red high-tops in the corner of every teenage girl’s closet and the simple sound of ripping a sheet of paper from a sketchbook you’ve kept for ten long years, technically a decade but using synonyms doesn’t feel right when you’ve already got the words on the tip of your tongue while you’re watching the planet spin ‘round and ‘round on its permanent axis in a very non-permanent life as your red high-tops are shifting so quickly forward and your eyes are a little glazed as you remind yourself this is only temporary ✱✱✱
|
Archives
March 2020
Categories
All
|